... without a doubt, the toughest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. The motivational challenge is overwhelming. It's negatively affecting every other aspect of my day-to-day existence. My family, my friends, my work, they're all suffering because I have screwed this thing up so badly. The implications of another failure loom so large over everything that it's hard to focus on anything else, let alone get motivated to start studying again. I completely blew my first scheduled day of organized study, which was supposed to be yesterday. Now I have to make that up today along with everything else I have to get done.
I'm usually a "Don't worry! Be happy!" kind of guy. But, lately, not so much.