But then, I guess that's better than the 110+ it was right after the exam. Pretty soon it will be 1 day, then zero.
Then it will be 100 or so days until the February 2010 bar exam. Then 75+ until the results are released for that exam.
Then it will be ...
Blah.
I've ceased trying to be optimistic about the day results are released. My attitude now is more like a guy on death-row who's appeal gets granted by some higher authority, thereby postponing the execution date one more time. Realistically, all I am looking forward to on November 20th is having enough room left on a credit card to charge the admission fee one more time. And no comments or suggestions, please, on skipping an exam. While that might work for some folks, it's not an option for me. But thanks for the consideration.
Someone posted a comment that the questions for the last exam have been released by the Bar. You can see them here.
I apologize for not posting a breakdown this time about the issues I found on the essays. For some reason, it just didn't seem as important as it has in the past. I don't know if that's because I'm so tired of the whole process, or because I felt a greater need to simply get on with my life. Probably a bit of both.
Here's a bit of bizarre wisdom for you, "All things change." It's 'wisdom' because it's one of those philosophical truisms that we mutter when we discover we have no control over something we wish we had control over. And it's 'bizarre' because it doesn't seem to apply to my situation with the bar exam.
In my case, it's more like, "The more things change, the more they stay the same." The things that change are the dates on the covers of the exams I open every February and July. The things that stay the same are the results I get every May and November.
Blah.
But I think the main reason I haven't posted a complete re-cap of my July '09 effort is because I feel a compulsion to get on with my life. The words, "As soon as I pass the bar exam" have been part of my vocabulary for ... ever, it seems. It's become very painfully obvious that I could easily get stuck in this holding pattern for so long that every other part of my life could fall down around me while I remain focused exclusively, and to the detriment of everyone and everything else, on the singular goal of passing the flippin' bar exam.
No longer, however. You will all be happy to know (and especially my wife) that I have decided to donate the nose hair, toe nail clipping, and belly-button lint collections I've accumulated in the intervals between exams, to science. I was going to sell them on e-bay, but in the interest of public safety, the anonymous donation route seemed much more sensible. Besides, if I donate them to science, I can grossly inflate their value on my tax return!
(;-)>
Just kidding ... Don't you have to have income before you can deduct anything on your taxes?
(;-)>
Just kidding, again ... I do have some income. I just can't report it. After all, who would believe that I, a law school graduate, made $5k a month in cash sitting on a freeway exit with a sign that says, "Will work for a score of 1441"? "What's that?", you say? "That can't be true?" Well, my friends, it certainly can be true. You see, most people haven't a clue about the bar exam, so when they see that I'm willing to work for a score of 1441, they think I'm trying to get my credit score up to 1441. And because they all know that's impossible, they think I'm insane! And because they feel sorry for crazy disheveled people by the side of the road, and, believe me, I do look disheveled, notwithstanding my picture on this blog, they eagerly press $10 and $20 bills into my grubby hands. They're especially anxious to hand over the cash when they get close enough to read my hand-scrawled sign and discover that my name is M'Naghten. Yep, that pretty much seals the deal.
Yeah, that's the ticket! Sure it is!
21 comments:
You are a very smart man and you deserve to be an attorney whether in this state or another attorney friendly state. You just have to decide that you have done your best in this stat's bar and there is NOTHING wrong with your exams or exam taking BUT rather the discriminatory state bar policies against repeaters b/c it makes no sense that ONLY about 14-19% of them pass in Ca. That cannot be true.
If I were you, I would say "this is it" in this state. If I don't pass this time, I am heading to another state which I am sure you will pass there. After that, you may come back to this state if that is what you wish to do and try the bar as many times as you want.
But do not spend anymore time and energy on this state's bar exam b/c it is NOT fair exam and it discriminates against repeaters. Look at the statistics and you will conclude the same ... 14% to 19%???? what is that about! so only 2 out 10 will pass? But the people who took it in July 08 passed at a rate of 83% b/c of the earth quake??? So they were qualified to practice law but those who took it in Feb 09 were NOT. Oh, please tell me you don't believe that! This is NOT fair!
I believe that you are a smart man who should have passed. Go to another state and live your life with your family and you will NOT NOT NOT miss ca. trust me!
Best of luck to you. I really feel your pain. I am a repeater but I declared a 2 time policy for myself. If I don't pass this Nov. I'm OUT and I'm NOT looking back.
FYI Bar exam fees for Feb have increased to 681 as if 650 was not high enough!!!!
Don't kid yourself, @ 10:36. CA doesn't discriminate against repeaters. They take the same exam as everyone else, and they don't grade the repeaters on a different scale.
Repeaters just have deep-rooted difficulties in one or more crucial areas (usually issue spotting and writing ability) that preclude them from passing time after time.
That said, repeating the same action over and over while expecting different outcomes is the definition of insanity. Move to "Passachusetts," with it's 85% passage rate, and be a lawyer there. It can't possibly cost more to do that than it does to fail the CA bar 5 times, especially when those years of lost lawyer salary are factored in.
Good luck in whatever you choose, Grand Poobah, but do consider a change of venue.
I would also change venue. Some people never pass in California, myself included. I don't know what it takes frankly. Right after finishing Law School in NY I passed the NYBE. As I got a job in Chicago I had to pass the IL Bar Exam, I found this one much easier. After 15 years of practice I tried in CA but failed twice. Maybe I lost the test skills I used to have or I am not fast enough.
Failing twice was enough for me. Living in CA would be great but life is also great in stormy Chicago. I am sure GP that your knowledge of the law is very good and you will pass any Bar exam, the issue is you picked the hardest one. It is easy to deduct that you will make a very good attorney. Think about it, sure there are jurisdictions that would accept candidates with your qualifications; your ultimate goal must be to become an attorney, never mind where.
All the best and never lose hope, who knows, maybe this time you made it. Best luck!!!
Hi GP -
Stay in CA and pass this f***er. If I can do it (Tier 3 school, 50% percentile grades, terrible essay scores the first time) you can do it.
Get a private tutor - http://www.calweasel.com
GP: You are now in a perfect mindset to pass the CA Bar. The gods have forced you into a clear understanding that the Bar can only be passed when you are broken and bowed and realize that the quest is hopeless. It is at that point, in a state of delirious inevitability, that you check the bar results for July 09 and find that you are on the pass list. And guess what? You still apply for the February bar because that is the pavlovian response you are accustomed to persuing. You then get a letter on Monday after the on line results and you assume it is admission to the February exam. But guess what, it is a confirmation of your passing the July bar. And you are disappointed because you did not secure a spot yet for the February bar. Yes you are in a perfect place to pass this exam and you will when the November results are released.
I am in your same position. Only, I have been at it longer, and in an easier jurisdiction. I wish I could say it gets easier, but I can certainly relate to your determination to pass this. It's like the more you keep getting excluded from this "club", the more you want in and the less you want to just chuck this thing over your shoulder, because you couldn't live with yourself if you did. I know I couldn't. I tried for a very short while, and found that this is something that tends to haunt you if what you really want to be is an admitted attorney.
Right now I am also waiting for results and once again freshly unemployed. I am looking at unemployment as an opportunity to prepare myself. I am doing something totally different this time. After taking off about four weeks, I've started studying again. I know people don't recommend this course, but when you have taken this test so many times you start to review that perhaps what you did before simply isn't going to work.
I have to change my entire approach to this exam. I have to change my study strategy. I even have to change my attitude. I have to change SOMETHING because doing the same old same old is getting me nowhere and I've missed enough years and enough opportunities.
I believe I can pass this exam. Yes, after so many years and so many attempts, I truly believe I can pass this test and finally get on with my life. I am finally to the point where I can honestly say: "not one more time" will I ever do this again. I make no contingency plan should I fail the next administration. I am taking the time and taking the advice of eminent tutors NOT to work during the February exam. I am taking the advice of others who suggest taking more than just 3 months to prepare. I am doing this all the way, for the last time.
So can you and so must you. You are extremely intelligent and I believe you can pass this thing just as much as I can. Maybe we both already have. But let's put ourselves to this task and get serious. We may have to deal with a week's mourning period in November and then plow on, or we may not have to deal with this again. Either way, let's change something. Others have done it before, why not me? Why not you? Why not now?
Nice post, Grand poobah.
Grand poobah cannot take the bar exam in another state because he did online law school and online students can only take the ca exam.
I actually knew a kid in college who, after getting drunk, would stop at a freeway off ramp the next morning on his way to college. He would get one of those signs and ask for money. After about 20 minutes, he usually had $20 or $30. Then, he'd head over to his car, drive to school, and buy his lunch and beer with the money.
Of course, maybe now he actually has no other way to make money, but if you have no shame, it's not such a bad gig.
we need a self portrait GP!
I took the CBX 6 times before passing the Feb. 2009 exam. I remember my attitude during that final exam. I wore a perpetual stern look the entire three days and stood away from the crowd. I did not applaud at the end of the exam. I just got up, drove home, and didn’t talk about it. When May came, I was determined NOT to sit in front of the computer again, only to be CRUSHED with the cruelly impersonal words the Bar uses to inform you that you have failed. My friend (who had passed the previous July - on her 6th try) told me I had to check and that I couldn’t let the weekend pass without doing so. I told her that she could do it for me, but I certainly was not going to let the Bar Examiners do that to me again. So she agreed to. While waiting for that dreaded hour to arrive, the minutes and seconds passing by, we chatted idly. To be honest, I just didn’t give a shit anymore and consequently was not even aware that at that moment it was 6:00 p.m. My friend said my name. I answered. And then she said the words I will never forget: “You passed!”
Your post sounds a lot like how I felt during those days. I think that’s the trick, to just not give a damn anymore (even though you really do, of course). At least that’s what it took for me.
I’ve chastised you before for not spending too much time on this blog at the expense of preparing for this exam. However, based on this post, I think you have reached the point where you truly are prepared. I wish you luck and look forward to reading the good news in November.
Michael
Attorney at Law
Anon 1, you need to check yourself. The passage rate during the earthquake was not that high. Also, the results were calibrated and only "helped" (and only gave AT MOST 5 raw points at that, and those were to people in San Diego who I hear didn't even feel it) some people who were probably going to pass anyway.
Check your facts...and your grammar. "Earthquake" is one word. Oh yeah, and GP sat for that exam. And you have to trust me - whether or not you passed had nothing to do with that earthquake.
The summer of the earthquake I passed - was in Century City - and our site had no extra raw points allotted. So anybody who thought that's why the pass rate was higher is mistaken.
GP - You are onto something with the realization about "once I pass the bar". Life doesn't work that way - your life isn't on hold, doesn't stop, isn't held in suspension except that you (like many of us before we passed) feel "stuck." You have years of work experience, plus a legal education - in tandem those are skills that have value in the marketplace. Don't denigrate your worth simply because you can't practice law. There are many other jobs where legal knowledge is beneficial and worth something.
Good luck -
The summer of the earthquake I passed - was in Century City - and our site had no extra raw points allotted. So anybody who thought that's why the pass rate was higher is mistaken.
GP - You are onto something with the realization about "once I pass the bar". Life doesn't work that way - your life isn't on hold, doesn't stop, isn't held in suspension except that you (like many of us before we passed) feel "stuck." You have years of work experience, plus a legal education - in tandem those are skills that have value in the marketplace. Don't denigrate your worth simply because you can't practice law. There are many other jobs where legal knowledge is beneficial and worth something.
Good luck -
To Anon at 4:09pm on 9/3. "Passachusetts" - if you think it's some cakewalk of an exam I suggest you register for and take it yourself. In order to sit for the exam - mind you, sit for the exam - you must pay $815 petition fee to the court, and complete all necessary requirements similar to CA moral character app. This means: background check, reference letters - both business and personal, transfer of a passing MPRE score, etc. I took it Feb 09 and passed - but the test itself was difficult. MA specific law, no use of laptops, and I don't know where you got an 85% pass rate, because what I saw was more in the 60% range. All jx bar exams are difficult - and especially if you've passed CA (as a repeater like myself), I left MA thinking I probably had failed b/c it was just as stressful in it's own way as CA.
From MA Bar of Board Examiners for Feb 09:
Taking Exam For Number Taking Number Passing Percentage Passing
First time 354
245
69.2%
Second Time 112
50
44.6%
Third Time Takers 49
13
26.5%
Fourth Time Takers 27
5
18.5%
Fifth Time or more 40
3
7.5%
TOTAL ALL EXAMINEES 582
316
54.3%
Don't know where you get 85%!
I've just been looking through the released questions. Good Lord. I've just been recalling how much work it takes to answer the questions - and to do so coherently with a structured and comprehensive approach. It's a tall effing order and it's sapped the life out of me just looking at it.
I hope that was the last one for you, GP. I really do.
Anon 10:36 you need to step away from the sauce. As the previous posters have pointed out, the adjustments for the event were NOT major, in fact, most sites DIDN'T get an adjustment. I was at the Century Plaza where we felt it quite a bit (rattling chandeliers, a light fixture broke, many folks freaked out and ducked under their tables) and we got neither extra time NOR an adjustment. Buuuut, if you believe there was some massive conspiracy which helped those of us who passed on that day over the threshold, so be it. You've probably got bigger problems. Enough with the excuses. CA doesn't discriminate against repeaters any more than any other state--but unlike the majority of other states, non ABA candidates take the test here in CA and like it or not, their scores are dramatically lower than ABAs (both first time pass rates and repeaters).
Sep 10 @ 10:33:
Passachusetts is correct. 86.4% passed July '08.
http://www.law.com/jsp/nlj/PubArticleNLJ.jsp?id=1202426472916&slreturn=1&hbxlogin=1
You should check your facts.
Passachusetts?
I thought it was Quassamapassy ... uh, Passamaquassy, ... Quaddamapaddy, ... Sassamapassy, ... !!!!
Oh, wait, ... it's Passamaquoddy!
(;-)>
9/13 @ 9:56AM, I did check facts - the results are from Feb 09, overall pass rate 54.3%. Which, being the most current available should indicate that the MA exam pass rate fluctuates.
Anon 4:25: You mean something other than the one at the top of my blog?
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