... and it is going to be “alrighty” very soon for many of us. Me included, I pray.
As I write this, according to my timer, there are 6 days, 3 hours, 34 minutes, and some seconds left until we either, 1) start living a normal life again, or 2) whip out our credit card, put our daily lives on hold (again), and retreat into that dark lonely place that I call Bar Prep Purgatory. It’s not quite Hell because there is a chance that, some day, our seemingly eternal sentence to this miserable existence will end.
I feel like Sisyphus; pushing the boulder up the mountain. Except this boulder is the California Bar Exam and, like an unstoppable force of nature, the State Bar keeps building up the mountain; making it higher and steeper as time passes.
This was me when I started this process more than a year ago.
This is me now after having spent a year and a half as a recluse in my study dungeon.
I’m hoping that I will be able to step aside soon and let that damned boulder roll to the bottom of the hill. It’s picked up quite a bit of extra weight during this process. My life, and the lives of those that depend on me, will be very different in 6 days, 3 hours, and … 11 minutes.
But things are not all doom and gloom. Thanks to Jonathan, there’s a full-time job waiting for me when I pass. And also thanks to him, I’m able to make a little money now as I wait for my sentence in Purgatory to be commuted. Appreciate that, I do.
The decision I made in March to purge my mind of all thoughts of next Friday has served me well so far. My anxiety level is way down compared to last November. And based on my experience in the weeks and months before the February exam, nothing good comes from all that stress. There are a few situations where a little pressure helps to motivate me. This is not one of those situations.
As you can see, I’ve also stayed away from this blog. As much as I appreciate all of my friends out here in the blogosphere, I just had to look away for a while. I’m sure you understand. But I read your comments because they’re all sent to my in-box. And I can’t tell you how much your encouragement and support mean to me. Thank you very much. Know that I am pulling for all of us to get past this thing.
For those of you who are taking it in July for the first time, heed this advice: Don’t underestimate the difficulty of this exam and, as well prepared as you may be right now, don’t get overconfident. Take it very seriously, as I know you will, because you don’t want to be sitting where I am right now. Trust me.
I’m trying to think of some positive and uplifting way to close this post …
Nothing comes to mind.
I can think of nothing optimistic. I guess you’ll have to tune in Friday evening to see if that changes.
But I remain hopeful. And if there is a bright side to this situation, it’s that I’ll soon know what to do with my summer! Yay!