- Uninterested because of frequent exposure or indulgence.
It's not that I don't care about the results. It's that I'm so freakin' tired of caring about the results.
But I'm one of those people that goes against the grain. I like to go to theme parks on major family holidays when most of the families are home doing the family thing. That leaves very few people to stand in line in front of me for all the rides that usually take 45 minutes to get to the sign that says "45 minutes from this point".
We've been to Europe twice in the winter. We got off the train in Salzburg at 7:00 one February morning with snow falling. There were no tourists (except for us) and the city looked like a postcard. Coffee never tasted so good.
We go to the beach during the week so we don't suffer the summer equivalent of snow-blindness. I get to the golf course at O-Dark-Thirty so I can be in one of the first groups out so my round doesn't take 5+ hours.
But getting back to the issue at hand, I've become blasé about the Bar Exam due to frequent exposure. I've come to detest the thing.
You know how a word loses its meaning when you say, or spell, or use it over and over again in quick repetition? That's happened with me and the Bar Exam.
I resent the control it has over my life.
Now if someone had said to me what I just said, that I resent the control it has over my life, I would have responded that the best way to break that control is to prepare so thoroughly for the exam that there's no way you can fail. And then I would have died laughing.
Then, with my last breath, I would have said, "There's nothing you can do about it now. Let it go."
So that's what I've done. I've let it go. And I realize that I'm very lucky to have the ability to put a wall around irritating things like this. An emotional barrier, if you will.
The down-side to this is that if I do get good news on Friday, I won't be very excited. The up-side is that if I get bad news on Friday, I'll just treat it like any other day and begin studying on Saturday.
But when I get up Friday morning, I'm sure all of this will go out the window.